Self-confidence is undeniably very important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many of us seem to struggle in finding it. Unfortunately, this can be a vicious cycle – people who lack it may find it difficult to become successful. When that happens, people who think they are “failures” end up questioning their own judgment and abilities even more. The good news is that self-confidence can actually be learned and eventually built on. Here’s how you can improve your very own sense of self-efficacy and self-worth.
- Avoid comparing yourself with others. All of us must have those moments where we catch ourselves falling into the enthralling yet dodgy trap of comparison. Yes, we often do it as an attempt to evaluate ourselves, but at what cost? While comparing yourself to others now and then can be a valuable source of growth and motivation, it can also drive you into a tail-chasing turmoil of self-doubt which will only damage your sense of self. Besides, what you are comparing against is most likely inaccurate information. Let’s face it – what people present to the outside world is usually an edited version of their reality. We are all guilty of this at some point of our lives. Lastly, this negative habit will just keep you from accomplishing your goals. Remember, being hard on yourself will only zap motivation and decrease goal completion. Instead of wasting your time thinking about how this other person you know is better looking, more successful, and has more friends, try to use your own personal values as the barometer upon which you compare. As Steve Furtick describes, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” So stop! Comparison will just breed your feelings of envy, low self-confidence, and depression, and even compromise your ability to trust others. Above and beyond, you know it’s a losing battle. In this crazy game of life, you will never reach that point where you are better than everyone else in all ways. Instead of trying to be as good if not better than others, direct your energy on being the very best version of yourself, and you will not regret it.
- Focus more on your positive self-traits and do away with negative self-talk. As much as possible, say something nice to yourself each time you look in the mirror. You are so used to spending your time in scrutinizing your own flaws that you actually hate yourself now as if there’s completely nothing good about you anymore. This is not helpful so stop beating yourself up. Concentrate on things that make you unique and beautiful. When you use self-encouragement and hopeful statements (while avoiding self-criticism), you are more likely to feel better about yourself which will raise your self-esteem.
- Accept where you are. Acceptance is what is going to allow you to change. The moment you start to let go of your insecurities, to surrender to yourself, and to find peace with where you are, that’s when you actually permit yourself to change for the better. Accepting where you are means you are not resisting and constantly fighting your current self. It’s in freeing ourselves from all those negative thoughts that we will find the courage to take actions and create the change we long to seek. So stop obsessing over your body or your failures in life. Just move into self-compassion and kindness, and you will see how beautiful and worthy you actually are and always have been.